Eons before we came moving out of the dirty, dark and disappointing right wardrobe and marched inside bright dyke world, I was a staunch follower of “girl rule.” Maybe it’s because i am one of those frustrating entities born with a ravenous thirst for ~justice~ in this screwed-up world. Perhaps i am just my mother’s child (my mother is the moral dictator for the Eastern Seaboard). Or maybe I’m merely a self-righteous bitch.

No matter what the reason; i am a staunch follower of “girl rule” since those sweaty teenage bodily hormones banged in around age 10.

Just what exactly actually



is quite



“girl signal?”  female rule is actually a signal in which all ladies that are generally supportive of these gender, abide by. It is an unspoken set of regulations, set-in place hundreds of years in the past by all of our foremothers, to make certain we eliminate our very own kind. It is primal. Animal.

It indicates that whether or not we oh-so-fiercely dislike that vile witch exactly who sits two cubicles away, we’re going to

however

provide this lady a tampon whenever she is bleeding through the woman bleached white trousers.

Girl signal is actually rooted in the intrinsic sisterhood we tell all ladies, in the event do not know all of them myself. We express an unspoken relationship because just we see the hardships, the complexities, in addition to inevitable injury which comes together with being a female in a fuckboy’s world.

Once I ended up being eleven I became heartbroken once I observed smart-mouthed Brittany* a platinum-haired volleyball celebrity “steal” the date of Ashley* a freckle-faced scholastic.

“just how CAN SHE?!” we gasped to my companion Suzie Goldstein over a carton of candy whole milk in the cafeteria.

Suzie, in addition a die-hard girl coder, sadly hung her mind. “I don’t know, Zara. I don’t know.”

Many years later I had a “crush” on a pretty-faced long-lashed child who had been the spitting image of

Halsey

(when I forced my self to “crush” on kids, i moved for rather males exactly who bore striking resemblances towards the adorable queer girl pop movie stars of today).


Difficulty ended up being, mentioned man had as soon as outdated a pal of mine. I asked their if she minded if I dated her lesbian looking for (perhaps not in those words, naturally).

“obviously I NOTICE!” she screamed, flinging the woman red velour hot Couture backpack inside environment.

We vowed to never challenge woman rule again.

I then turned 20 and began playing with the ~lesbians~.

I became a Sapphic little kitten new in the world even though I felt like I’d died and gone to lesbian heaven, the one thing truly confused myself (okay, a



few



things, nevertheless have where i want).

Female code failed to seem to be as increasingly deep-rooted into my brand-new lesbian friend class. My buddies appeared to consistently be internet dating their unique buddy’s exes, flirting with taken ladies and engaging in top-secret affairs with girls however romantically mounted on various other girls.

“Wait—no, you cannot accomplish that! It isn’t really GIRL code!” I would personally shriek inside my brand new buddy Talia, a lady who was simply constantly recklessly smashing woman code together with her brown little fists.

Talia would roll her glittery environmentally friendly eyes. “we are lesbians—it’s different. We have



intercourse



together.”

“simply because we have intercourse with one another doesn’t mean woman signal goes out the window,” we roared with a feverish intensity i did not even comprehend I got. I became 21 with ratty hair extensions and probably -$20.00 to my name, but We realized inside my center I found myself dead screwing right.

Not merely should queer women be adhering to girl rule (despite the fact that we perform indeed, have sexual intercourse with each other, plenty of sex with each other), it ought to be cut also deeper than the woman code that is available inside heteronormative globe. Not only are we under assault by society at-large because we’re female, we are also under attack by society most importantly because we’re effing QUEER, babes! If there has previously been several women that should-be firmly bound to the ethics of LADY CODE, it should be all of us queers. Indeed, i’d call-it “queer signal” but that’s its very own thing, worth its post.

But we all, wherever we secure throughout the sex range, everyone of us, just who roll when you look at the queer woman society,



should



be sticking with girl signal. No exceptions.

As an example:

It is against “girl rule” to aggressively hit on a girl that has a girlfriend.

A few months ago I became at Cubby Hole using my buddy Maggie.* A lanky lesbian with a swanky haircut came striding toward Maggie. She stomped over to the woman thereupon very sexual “vagina initial” strut and she started initially to shamelessly flirt with little Maggie. Within seconds, she questioned Maggie out on a date.

Maggie smiled politely (she actually is south) and cooed, “That’s really nice, but I have a really severe sweetheart.”

“which is also bad. I’ll buy you a drink anyhow.” The lanky lesbian purred, raising an impressively curved brow.

“Don’t worry regarding it, i acquired it.” Maggie appeared nervously at me personally (the bitchy brand-new Yorker whom bites straight back).

“allow me to purchase you a glass or two. You are gorgeous. And hey, that knows in which your own commitment is certainly going?” Lanky Lezzie cackled, all sex-eyed and throaty-voiced. She placed an unwelcome hand on Maggie’s bare shoulder.

Eventually, we burst. “Dude! She has a girlfriend! It isn’t only disrespectful to Maggie, it’s also disrespectful to the woman GIRL. We’re all females! We do not betray both like this!” I roared, once the Lanky Lesbian quickly excused herself for a smoke.

You’re not only breaking lady rule by making another girl believe uneasy for rejecting the advances, you are breaking girl code because some poor lesbian is resting at your home innocently chomping on a vegan burrito, as the woman sweetheart is being HIT in by an other woman.

After all, possibly she’d expect this type of behavior by drunken bros from the bro club, but the queer bar must be a safe location! I keep united states to a higher standard than guys (NOT PC, sorry), don’t you?

It really is against “girl code” to inquire of a woman’s permission to talk to her girlfriend.

I just was at big queer woman party whenever all of a sudden an arbitrary lady comes strolling doing my personal girl and bellows: “could i ask your girlfriend a concern?” Appropriate. In. Front. Of. Me. As though I wasn’t actually freaking here.

Discuss smashing girl code in to the ground! You are equating my womanliness with weakness, and implying that my fabric pants displaying sweetheart is actually my personal employer (GAG!), because she actually is maybe not twirling around in a mini gown like Im.

PSA: You’ll be able to twirl around in a minidress but still have actually a goddamn brain.

Just will you be splitting lady signal by judging another woman exclusively according to her outer appearance and private design, you are in addition being wildly sexist. You are inquiring my (a little) a lot more male presenting gf for permission to dicuss to “femmey little me personally.” Hear this women: This mascara lesbian doesn’t have boss. Maybe not at the office. Not in daily life. And most certainly not in fucking love.

It really is against woman code as of yet, sleep with, or flirt with your pal’s ex (without asking for permission).

Appear: there are times when i do believe its completely OK to date a friend’s ex because lez be real. The planet is so small that online dating a friend’s ex will eventually (probably) be inescapable. Especially if friends are typical fantastic, wild nymphos like my own, and now have installed with 90 per cent on the scene.

But child woman! It is vital that you request permission before venturing into that territory.

I’m sure locating a lady you relate with can be as rare as finding a pearl in a goddamn oyster, however must keep your self straight back if permission is not given.

Its against girl code to flirt with your buddy’s recent partner (whether or not it really is simple).

Near the sight. Picture you are at a bar seeing another lady splay her legs all-over the hetero pal’s boyfriend. You might consider it absolutely was very improper, and probably inform the lady exactly about it, no? Same is true of girls on lady laps.

Believe me I have trouble with this 1, major. I’m obviously a lap seated lez, inside the majority of ~simple~ of ways. We recklessly plop from the laps of gay males, lesbians, my personal mummy, my cousin and directly women identical. It’s probably a deep-rooted childhood dilemma of wanting for affection.

But. That’s no excuse.

I’ve must set-up some strict borders with regards to my buddies’ girlfriends. Regardless if in my own greatly mascara adorned eyes I’m not “flirting,” it’s still WILDLY improper personally become lapping it up to my buddy’s sweetheart. Or anybody’s girlfriend for instance.

It could get confusing for us gays.



Oh, we’re all ladies! This means nothing!



But if you do not wish another person’s girlfriend to (truly) sock you when you look at the nostrils whenever drunkenly perch on her woman’s lap: go attend a rose bush alternatively. It really is a far better option.

Its against lady rule to allow your own squandered gf go home with a douchey stranger REGARDLESS IF SAID STRANGER IS A FEMALE.

If my directly closest friend Ruba gets spinning out of control lost and slurs in my opinion that she actually is heading house with some douchey searching bro who’s providing myself a case of complete body creeps, We’ll drag their from the bar throwing and yelling before I let her get in a taxi cab with him.

Even though your own intoxicated friend goes home with an other woman (aka not a



guy)



doesn’t invariably suggest she’ll be safe otherwise won’t wake-up without terrible regret and embarrassment spirals. We are right here to guard our very own buddies from danger AND from pity spirals. Woman code, child.

Generally there its. Let me know what you think.
Message me on Facebook
and let me know you disagree. This can be a conversation, perhaps not a lecture, kitten. I’m simply the self-proclaimed net lesbian large cousin, just what hell perform I’m sure?

OH—one a lot more thing. It is against girl rule to deal with a lady you’d a one evening stand with want garbage. In the event it is simply a rando hookup (that I totally endorse) end up being TYPE to the lady and purchase the taxi cab house. Women can be to prevent address various other females like throw away adult sex toys, under any circumstance.